We went to two schools yesterday – the first was in Barrie and the second was in Brechin. At the end of the second show, a teacher came to me and told me about her pet peeve.
She really doesn’t like you guys.
I mean, she hates the term “you guys”. And it’s a phrase I use a lot, without even thinking! The teacher kindly went on to tell me that even though “you guys” is slang and people use the phrase to address both males and females, it doesn’t make sense. Because 51 percent of us are NOT guys!
I think she totally had a point. I asked Eternia and Masia what they thought about it. Like me, they think it’s pretty universal. I mean, it’s just part of our language right?
But why? Why is it part of our language and how did it get to be that way? I don’t know the proper answer to that but I think the fact that “you guys”is universal is a sign of how male-oriented our society and many others are.
So I’ve decided it’s time for me to adjust my thinking on this. And since I say “you guys” a LOT, it’ll be a process.
What should I replace “you guys”with? Masia doesn’t say it much at all…actually she says she sometimes uses feminine terms like “sistren” or “gyal”. Both she and Eternia use the term “y’all” a lot too. The two of them are rappers and in the hip hop industry it’s pretty common to use that slang. But what about me? I don’t really feel comfortable using “y’all” – it’s just not natural for me.
I could start using “you girls” I guess.
No, that doesn’t feel right either. I have to think about this one…
In the meantime, here’s today’s song: Aretha Franklin’s Natural Woman.
November 17, 2009
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25 responses to “There’s something wrong with “You Guys””
tt
November 17th, 2009 at 16:58
Today is the 17th and you came to mma (marymount).
eternia
November 17th, 2009 at 21:09
i love the title of this blog and how u introduced the subject
way to doubletask in the tour van, nana!
i like bein’ ur roomie on the road
hehe
e
Nana Aba
November 17th, 2009 at 21:37
Thanks for being there tt! Your school was live! And Eternia, I’m still coming after you for that collabo with Masia One
Jeff
November 17th, 2009 at 23:47
I’m with you. I never liked “you guys”. I always say “Hey Girls” to my daughter and her friends. You want to make sure you don’t distance the girls from who they are at a young age.
Valerie
November 18th, 2009 at 15:19
“You guys” has been a pet peeve of mine, too. Every time I hear it I say to myself, and sometimes out loud, “Thanks…but I’m not a guy!”
I use the term “Ladies” even with younger girls because it means I am noticing and embracing their gender, making them feel important and not forgotten.
Wishing you luck on your search for a new phrase to empower girls!
V
Nana Aba
November 19th, 2009 at 00:45
Jeff, I totally agree. You too V…today I said the phrase a couple of times, but I was acutely aware of it. Like I said, it’s going to take time!
Mikayla
November 26th, 2009 at 19:28
First off I would just like to say that I really enjoyed your performance today at St. Clair seconday school. I was actually shocked at how my class mates around me reacted to it, some of them took it in a good way. However others not so much. I would like to talk to you about other things to so maybe you can email me?
But I think this topic is a good one. My ex would always say “hey man” to me when something came into his head that he wanted to tell me or just saying “man” without realizing it. Everytime he referred to me as “man” I would correct him and make it clear to him that im not a man, im his girlfriend. I too use the phrase without realizing it at fist, I would use it but then after think “why did I just reffer to those guys AND girls as just guys”? Your right Nana it will take time to change, but im really trying
thanks
Nana Aba
November 27th, 2009 at 00:32
From all of us, thanks Mikayla! We had a good time. Ya, it does take time to change things, including what we say…
Lauri
November 27th, 2009 at 00:45
Great site. How about, in some situations, ‘friends’ instead of ‘guys’? It’s what I started using instead sometimes, and it works well in many situations! And, it’s positive tone tends to be relationship building, not destructive
Rosy
November 28th, 2009 at 23:46
As a teacher, I noticed it too during your visit. I used to say the term “you guys” a lot too until a professor in university brought it to my attention. It does take time to find alternatives, I am still conscious of it when addressing my class. I have changed to “People” now e.g. “Come on people”, “Let’s go people”…good luck with finding a term that sounds and feels right to you.
jessica
December 2nd, 2009 at 21:40
was this pic at hillcrest ?
Coven
December 30th, 2009 at 12:41
this is really immature if you ask me. trying to choose how the world talks is totally wrong if people don’t like the slang ignore it or don’t talk to the people who use the slang. but of course if we stopped talking to everyone who said you guys then we would not have anyone in the world to talk to. I have things that bug me to like Because I’m a girl I can make a difference? whats up with that? it should be … Because I’m a person I can make a difference. men have been changing the face of the world for centuries these days we cant change anything cause sense the woman’s movements we have lost all our rights. women are dominating the work forces and men are being cast aside and taking on what was once the role of the ladies. We fought for the ladies so they could have equal rights but now we as men have become less equal in society if you really want to change the face of the world how about you fix this issue. I know everyone or most of you will say this is not true but if you look at our justice system it will show you that what you believe is wrong. EXAMPLE: a woman hits a man the cops are called the man goes to jail. EXAMPLE: women are using the system to steal children away from their fathers by making false accusation in the family courts of sex abuse violence and much more. 400 thousand Americans are locked up cause of false accusation made by women who found loop holes and took advantage of them. women cause allot more auto accidents then men do yet men pay a higher insurance premium than women. if a woman commits a crime she is less likely to get jail time. Example: LATE ONE NIGHT in August 1997, a Tacoma, Washington, woman named Brenda Lee Brenda Lee (born December 11, 1944) is an American pop singer, who was immensely popular during the 1950s and 1960s. In the 1960s she had more charted hits than any other woman, and only three male singers/groups (Elvis Presley, Ray Charles and The Beatles) outpaced her.
….. Click the link for more information. Working called her estranged es·trange
tr.v. es·tranged, es·trang·ing, es·trang·es
1. To make hostile, unsympathetic, or indifferent; alienate.
2. To remove from an accustomed place or set of associations. husband, Michael, and told him that her car had broken down, stranding her and their two preschool daughters in a wooded area on a military base. When Michael Working came to her aid, it turned out to be an ambush. Brenda shot him several times, hitting him in the arm and the shoulder. Then she beat him in the face with the handgun as he tried to wrench it from her hands and stalked him through the woods for hours after he managed to get away. Brenda recieves one day in jail. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. Admittedly, this was not the full extent of Working’s punishment: She received a separate five-year sentence for using a gun in the commission of a crime. Yet the sentencing judge, U.S. District Judge Jack Tanner, openly stated that he would have suspended that sentence too if it had not been mandatory under federal law. His reasoning was that Working had been depressed and fearful that her estranged husband would take away her children in a Custody Battle.
Despite the eventual outcome, many would say the Working case illustrates a pervasive pattern in the criminal justice system of gender-based leniency toward women. This has become an article of faith among men’s rights activists. In his 1993 book The Myth of Male Power, Warren Farrell asserts that “twelve distinct female-only defenses allow a woman who commits a premeditated murder to have the charges dropped or significantly reduced.”
….. . these are problems that should be fixed. there are so many bigger issues in the world that changing the slang seems less important. But if you want something to switch it up for you people. how ever when you say you people it is considered racism so you cant win for losing.
just one mans thoughts email me with your hate letter they are all welcome
P.S
I know I’ll get banned for my thoughts I always do
Coven
December 30th, 2009 at 12:43
there are so many more situations I could talk on this subject for years to come and never repeat myself once
If I was a better wrighter I would write a book called the sad truth
Megan
January 8th, 2010 at 15:58
I noticed this and have started to say “folks” instead in a lot of cases. Of course I still say it, but I try to use language in a way that reflects what I mean and what I’m thinking. Words have power because they shape what we’re thinking and how we’re acting.
johan
January 16th, 2010 at 20:06
This is beyoned retarded. I am now much dumber for having read this.
Some people have waaaaay too much time on their hands. You guys need to start doing something actually productive at some point instead of wasting time making up names like “systern” or whatever.
Coven
January 19th, 2010 at 14:11
You know what i just noticed you are fighting against words that seem descriminating with other phrases that are descriminating its like fighting fire with fire. I do not think this site was thought through very effectivly. and why must boys be excluded from the seminars you hold at schools?
Kirn
January 20th, 2010 at 21:10
Hi, I was just browsing the site,and started reading these comments. I just wanted to say something based on the last comment by Coven, about boys being excluded from seminars. I think its just so girls feel closer to all the other females. They dont have to feel shy or afraid of the boys if they ask a question or have an opinion on something. But I do think that it would be better if boys could learn about these issues too. I mean, if only the girls know this information, boys are left on their own and they cant make a change without being informed about it. Basically, both girls and boys need to have access to this knowledge at a young age so they can use it in the future.
kayla
March 9th, 2010 at 18:11
this is a really cool subject. it’s something that i’m sure a lot of us say without even thinking about that. i definately stopped to think about why it’s so common and it bothered me. it’ll take time but i’ll try to change the way address groups of people.
And for those people who don’t agree with the site or what it’s trying to do, DON’T CHECK OUT THE SITE
octaevius
March 25th, 2010 at 20:26
This is a great campaign and hopefully it brings in great returns. Good work.
Bernie Leland
March 31st, 2010 at 10:50
hi,
i find this really cool! I support this idea all the way! my friends and I have a project we aredoing in school right now where we have to find a fundraiser for it, and i am supporting your website!
I have purchased the badge , and the t-shirt and this is a really awesome thing to do and i support this!!!!
this is;
because i am a girl!!!
Abby
March 31st, 2010 at 10:55
I lovee this website!! just reading this mad me feeel such girl power I love what you guys are doing here keep it up and were doing a project for school and this is just the perfect thing for us im abby and i support this because i am a girl! ;P
Saige
March 31st, 2010 at 11:02
OMG!!! I love this!! I had to look for a website to create awarness…and this is the one I picked. Since more then one girl in my class found this website, we decided to do a presentation together! We watched Machaela’s story and we were so inspired that we are going to go to OUR proncipal and ask him if we can do the same things. I have a cellphone, so Im going to text those numbers givin so that i can donate money and see if we can make September 22nd a Girls Day!!
I really hope that others will be inspired to do the sdame things!!
Saige
Kate Jongbloed
March 31st, 2010 at 13:34
Its great to see that “you guys” and by guys I mean GIRLS! are getting involved and doing what you can in your schools. Get in touch if you need any questions answered or other information!
Keep up the awesome work!
Alexandra
April 5th, 2010 at 16:32
First of all, I don’t really mind the term, “you guys”. Out of all the equality issues out there, the fact that people include both men and women with the phrase “you guys”, isn’t exactly a horrifying issue.
Second of all, I have a couple of points to say about Coven’s comments:
“Because I’m a girl I can make a difference? whats up with that? it should be … Because I’m a person I can make a difference. men have been changing the face of the world for centuries…”
You’re right. EVERYBODY can make a difference, regardless of their gender. But we always hear about how MEN are making a difference, not women. This website and campaign is all about trying to empower women to know that they can make a difference as well. This isn’t about excluding men. It’s about getting the message across to girls that they can also make a difference, along with males.
” we cant change anything cause since the woman’s movements we have lost all our rights.”
You have not lost your rights. Women have been given more rights to equal their male companions. Is that so much to ask for, Coven? We are human beings, with minds that work just as well as men. Should we not also deserve the respect of the justice system?
If your stories are factual, if there are cases where leniencies are given to some women in the courts, then yes, I agree with you, that is not fair. Each individual should be given the punishment they deserve for the crimes they have committed, regardless of their gender.
It goes both ways though. For centuries, it has been men who have always gotten away from their punishments in the courts, because women had NO rights. Don’t you see? You are arguing for what women have been fighting for since they started the women’s movement!
Here, let me give you an example. It’s the sixteenth century. A man raped a woman. She’s angry and complains to the court. The man denies it. Who do you think the court will believe? The man? Or the woman? Most likely they’ll believe the man, because the whole court is made up of men, and anyway, what “right” does a woman have to complain anyway? She should have been minding her own business, instead of urging this man on.
Does the woman think this is fair? NO!
That’s why we’ve been fighting for our rights. So our justice in court will equal men. NOT because we’re trying to take advantage of men.
Diane
April 8th, 2010 at 10:35
I’ve always hated the term “you guys”. I have been out with my son and a clerk will call us “you guys”. I regard this as condescending and rude. I’ve heard a waiter address a table of all women elderly diners as “you guys”. Give me a break. Women are not guys. The world seemed to communicate well before this term existed. Why are women excluded again?
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