“Don’t talk like that!”

That’s how Masia’s aunts would respond when she told them what she wanted to be when she grew up.  Her offensive statement?  She wanted to be great.  “I wanna be the queen of the world!”

During the question period today, someone asked Eternia and Masia what their ambitions were growing up.  Eternia wanted to be a veterinarian.  Masia remembers just wanting to be a great person.

I’d say she’s done that!  But I  found it interesting that Masia’s aunts – and her mom -  felt her determination was somehow disrespectful.  I talked to Masia about it afterward and she knows her brother wouldn’t have been chastised if he spoke that way.  In fact, he’d be encouraged!

This is no small thing.  And it didn’t just happen to Masia because her mother is Chinese and living in Singapore where rules are supreme.

Socialization of girls in Canada and everywhere can feel very subtle.  As a Ghanaian, I went through a naming ceremony at seven days old.  I was introduced to the world with my name, and given the tastes of the world on my tiny tongue – bitter, sweet, sour and so on.

My ears were also pierced on that day.  I grew up knowing I had to wear earrings every day I left the house.  Since I love pretty things and like to dress up, it wasn’t usually a problem.  But if I did want to leave my parents house sans adorned ears?  My mother would notice.  She’d advise me to wear something.

This doesn’t happen with boys.  And I know some of you might think this isn’t really an example of female socialization.  But consider the message I was getting:  you are a girl and girls must be ‘pretty’, so adorn yourself, lest you be considered un-girl-ish.

See what I mean?

And you know this is only a small example of how ‘attractiveness’ is one of the toughest issues affecting girls today.

I don’t even know what to do with this realization that socialization of girls can be potentially damaging, even in the smallest way.

I know if I have a little girl I won’t make her feel bad if she wants to be the queen of the world.

But I’m pretty sure I’ll want to put her in dresses.  Is that so bad?