Does Pro-Girl mean Anti-Boy?

Today someone with the alias “Male Superiority” posted some pretty negative comments here on the blog. In one, it was suggested that I get back into the kitchen and make him a sandwich. I deleted that one, because it was inappropriate, but I think it also brings up an important point.

It sounded like the commenter felt like because we’re pro-Girl here at Because I am a Girl, that means that we’re automatically anti-men. For me, this is definitely untrue: boys also have a very important role to play in human rights and social justice. They can choose to make decisions that promote equality, safety and empowerment of women.

A man’s role in gender equality can take many different forms. For example, following from the example I gave in one of my previous posts, a man who decides to get tested for HIV and discloses his status before he gets married is making a decision that promotes the health of his partner (instead of keeping it a secret or not knowing, and putting his partner at risk). It might mean a man choosing to stand up against a sexist comment or action. Or, it might mean a young Canadian guy getting involved in a Because I am a Girl event in his school or community.

So, for all you boys reading this who don’t think that girls should be in the kitchen making sandwiches but rather out in the world making positive change, You Go Guy! And if you’re interested in reading some more about male feminism and masculinity, check out my friend Paul’s blog, MascMag.com.

December 30, 2009

Team Because I am Girl

Categories: Because I am a Girl Tags: gender

3 responses to “Does Pro-Girl mean Anti-Boy?”

Tania
December 30th, 2009 at 19:24

I like this piece a lot. As someone who has experienced first hand the backlash of men not understanding female empowerment, I think it’s really important for us to include positively our male counterparts in the goal for equality and social justice. We simply can’t do it without them, and the more we exclude them the more anger and ignorance will be displayed – like clearly shown by “Male Superiority” here. Instead of getting angry, it’s important to see this kind of lashing out as a call for help and inclusion – we need to educate and guide these kind of boys/men so as to have a stronger “equality movement”. I think the confused message to boys/men is that being pro women’s rights is anti-men.(Perhaps)being “Pro-girl” meant being “anti-guy” in the first wave of feminism but the women’s rights movement needs to make it much more clear that it has come a long way since its radical roots 60 years ago, and make more of an effort to show both boys and girls that empowerment of girls [at this stage of (western) women's rights] means empowerment of boys as well – and pass that message on to the boys. ie. More groups like mascmag need to exist to reach boys/men of all ages. Now that’s progress. Just my two cents.

Dwayne MacEachern
December 30th, 2009 at 22:37

Great blog, Kate. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the role of masculinity in today’s society. Even for men who actually respect women and see the empowerment of women and girls as an ideal, I think we still have a lot of unknowns facing us, and these create the sort of fear that leads to the disrespect and backlash as evidenced by the blogger you mention. I mean, there are always going to aspects of the masculine and feminine that are rooted in our evolutionary past which will play a role in how we interact with each other, will there not? That’s not to say they can’t be overcome, but they pop up in strange ways sometimes and affect us in ways we don’t always realize. For instance, why do men wearing bright ties seem to command an aura of dominance compared to one without a tie at all? – for the same reason a baboon with a brighter nose and cheeks has a better chance at being the alpha male: they mimic genitals. So, as far along the evolutionary path we think we are, us guys still walk around displaying our genitals every once and a while in the form of a tie. And you can’t tell me women don’t notice a guy wearing a tie more quickly than some dude in a hoody. My point? As the commenter above says, we need to work together on this. The path is laden with evolutionary blips and bleeps that are just waiting to throw us off track, throwbacks to when male dominance and female subjugation may have served a purpose in our species’ development. But if we can overcome the fear of the unknown, then we can overcome these animalistic tendencies, and maybe the only display of our ancient past in the future will be in our choice in clothing, and not in the value of our labour, the role we play in growth of our children, or in the use of our muscle.

Alina
January 1st, 2010 at 16:32

I know what you mean! Just because I am all for girls rights doesn’t mean I hate guys, far from it! I hate when girls think that just becuase you’re for girls rights means that your some kind of radical feminist freak! I’m not, and I’m never going to be, but I wish everyone could accept everyone’s opinions, if I tolerate others opinions, shouldn’t they at least hear out what you have to say?

Tania
December 30th, 2009 at 19:24

I like this piece a lot. As someone who has experienced first hand the backlash of men not understanding female empowerment, I think it’s really important for us to include positively our male counterparts in the goal for equality and social justice. We simply can’t do it without them, and the more we exclude them the more anger and ignorance will be displayed – like clearly shown by “Male Superiority” here. Instead of getting angry, it’s important to see this kind of lashing out as a call for help and inclusion – we need to educate and guide these kind of boys/men so as to have a stronger “equality movement”. I think the confused message to boys/men is that being pro women’s rights is anti-men.(Perhaps)being “Pro-girl” meant being “anti-guy” in the first wave of feminism but the women’s rights movement needs to make it much more clear that it has come a long way since its radical roots 60 years ago, and make more of an effort to show both boys and girls that empowerment of girls [at this stage of (western) women's rights] means empowerment of boys as well – and pass that message on to the boys. ie. More groups like mascmag need to exist to reach boys/men of all ages. Now that’s progress. Just my two cents.

Dwayne MacEachern
December 30th, 2009 at 22:37

Great blog, Kate. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the role of masculinity in today’s society. Even for men who actually respect women and see the empowerment of women and girls as an ideal, I think we still have a lot of unknowns facing us, and these create the sort of fear that leads to the disrespect and backlash as evidenced by the blogger you mention. I mean, there are always going to aspects of the masculine and feminine that are rooted in our evolutionary past which will play a role in how we interact with each other, will there not? That’s not to say they can’t be overcome, but they pop up in strange ways sometimes and affect us in ways we don’t always realize. For instance, why do men wearing bright ties seem to command an aura of dominance compared to one without a tie at all? – for the same reason a baboon with a brighter nose and cheeks has a better chance at being the alpha male: they mimic genitals. So, as far along the evolutionary path we think we are, us guys still walk around displaying our genitals every once and a while in the form of a tie. And you can’t tell me women don’t notice a guy wearing a tie more quickly than some dude in a hoody. My point? As the commenter above says, we need to work together on this. The path is laden with evolutionary blips and bleeps that are just waiting to throw us off track, throwbacks to when male dominance and female subjugation may have served a purpose in our species’ development. But if we can overcome the fear of the unknown, then we can overcome these animalistic tendencies, and maybe the only display of our ancient past in the future will be in our choice in clothing, and not in the value of our labour, the role we play in growth of our children, or in the use of our muscle.

Alina
January 1st, 2010 at 16:32

I know what you mean! Just because I am all for girls rights doesn’t mean I hate guys, far from it! I hate when girls think that just becuase you’re for girls rights means that your some kind of radical feminist freak! I’m not, and I’m never going to be, but I wish everyone could accept everyone’s opinions, if I tolerate others opinions, shouldn’t they at least hear out what you have to say?