Girls (me included!) have a tendency to daydream about their big day, picking out colour schemes and perfect dresses in their head, and imagining walking down the aisle with Mr. Right.
I want you to channel your wedding daydreams in a different direction today as we look at marriage as it is often experienced by impoverished women around the world.
Imagine that because you were going to be married into another family, your parents didn’t invest in your future.
Marrying into a new family means that the original family will eventually lose that resource, so they don’t invest in it. According to the 2007 Because I am a Girl report, “in some cultures, a boy will grow up and look after his parents, while a girl will be married into another family and is therefore seen as a financial burden to her own parents.” This means that the effects of marriage are often felt by girls years before they are ready to exchange vows.
Imagine being told by your parents that next week you were going to be married to someone that they had picked out.
In many places around the world, marriage is more of a transaction or exchange of resources. Girls are often have little or no power over their part in this transaction.
Without control over the decision to get married and to whom, girls may face early or forced marriage. In fact, “80 million girls in developing countries will be married before their 18th birthday,” says Graca Machel. According to UNICEF, child marriage is defined as “any marriage carried out below the age of 18 years before the girl is physically, psychologically and physiologically ready to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage and childbearing”
Imagine that your parents then told you that the man they picked for you to marry was old enough to be your father.
Early marriage often means that girls are married to much older men, which often means that the power dynamic in the relationship is affected by the age difference, as well as by the difference in social status between men and women in general.
So what are the specific risks of early marriage?
Married girls:
- Are likely to have less education and fewer schooling opportunities than unmarried girls
- Have less mobility than unmarried girls or older married women
- Have less household and economic power than older married women
- Have less exposure to the media than unmarried girls
- Have limited social networks
- May be at greater risk of gender-based violence than women who marry later
- Face greater reproductive health risks than unmarried women and married young women who have already had a child
(photo credit: .ygor)
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2 responses to “Marriage isn’t always a big white princess dress and a sparkly diamond.”
Jacquelyn Shifflet
March 16th, 2010 at 13:52
Thanks for sharing, I found this story while looking for mp3 downloads, useful comments and good points made.
Alyson MacMillan
October 8th, 2010 at 01:46
This is shocking. I cannot imagine ever having to experience something so traumatic and frightning. The fact that this still exists is wrong! We have got to stand up and put a stop to this. Before more little girls are forced into a life of abuse and terror!
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Married at 12: Girls and Early Marriage « Because I am a Girl Blog October 6th, 2010 at 18:19
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