The chocolates are eaten, the flowers are wilting.  But we LOVE all this thinking we’ve been doing about reclaiming February 14, and want to share just one more little Valentine’s Day post with you.

It all started with one voice – that of Eve Ensler.  Using more than 200 conversations she had with women around the world about their views on sex, relationships and violence against women, she created the Vagina Monologues.  Now, the Monologues are performed on stages around the world, including by celebrities like Jennifer Beals, Rosario Dawson, and Kerry Washington.

From the start, the monologuers decided to “reclaim” valentines day from the lovey-dovey holiday it had become and use it as a tool to raise awareness about women’s issues by performing their show on February 14.  They called it V-day (V is for valentines and for violence…get it?).

Of course, the title makes it controversial and in your face, but when you look closer, the play isn’t so much about vaginas as it is about women and power over their bodies (and a lot of the stuff we care about here at Because I am a Girl).  You can check out some of the monologues on YouTube, like this one performed by Jennifer Hudson.

To me, one of the coolest things about this play is how it gets transformed and owned by the people that are performing it.  When I was living in Ethiopia, I had a chance to see a production of it by a group of women (both Ethiopian and foreigners) around Valentine’s Day.  The group had included extra monologues that came specifically from the women’s experiences who were in the play themselves, making the show even more meaningful.

According to the Vagina Monologues wikipedia entry, “Every year a new monologue is added to highlight a current issue affecting women around the world.”

As well as raising awareness about women’s issues, each play has an immediate impact on the lives of women and girls.  The women performing the play decide on a cause affecting women in their community, or in the world, that they want to contribute to, and all the proceeds go to a charity of their choice working in that area.

Check if there’s a V-Day performance in your area! Or, decide to perform it with your friends, and make Because I am a Girl your cause!

Valentine’s comes part and parcel with a whole bunch of gender stereotypes and pressures for both men and women that are sometimes hard to get past. The implication is that if you’re single on Valentine’s, you’re less of a person.

“Being dateless on Valentine’s Day can evoke feelings of loneliness and self-doubt, especially for those who are believers in the mythology of true love,” says the Being Single on Valentine’s Day Survival Guide. It’s almost as if the world is throwing your singledom in your face.

Part of this feeling comes from our tendency to define ourselves by our relationships. Is it true that we are who we date? I think not (hence why our campaign is not called “Because I am a Girlfriend”). Another part of it is how often we compare ourselves to other people around us.

V-day is also a holiday that emphasizes traditional relationships, or as Suzanne Reisman notes over at BlogHer, February 14 has become “a crass heterosexual gender-stereotyping commercial hoax.” Mainstream Valentine’s Day focuses on boy-girl relationships. What about all the other kind of love out there, including same sex, family, and friend relationships?

We’ve heard from you that the sad single stereotype is not for you. Whether you’re single or not, you are determined to take back the power and use Valentine’s Day for good. A wise person once said, loving others starts with loving yourself. So regardless of whether you’re single or hitched, make sure you spend a moment treating yourself to some love as well, whether that’s thinking about something awesome you’ve done since Feb 14, 2010, or acknowledging something great about yourself. Or, you could always go the more traditional route and treat yourself to flowers or chocolates from a not-so-secret admirer!

Because I am a Girl, I look Valentine’s Day in the face and say, “bring it!”

Last week we asked you to

On twitter, this hashtag is getting good mileage - #antivalentinesday from Tweets who want to express their anti-Valentine’s Day point of view.  Celebs like Ke$ha and Jennifer Garner (who says her best Valentines day was hanging out with her girlfriends) are also joining in the discussion.

It sounds to me like we’ve overdosed on the uber-consumerist and “couply” marketing of this “holiday.”

Here’s my suggestion! Instead of turning our backs on Valentine – Let’s OWN IT and use it to spread LOVE in a more meaningful way.

Spread the love

• Volunteer the day!  Or commit random acts of kindness.
• Walk around school with a bag of love hearts and ask EVERYONE to be your valentine.
• Wear your bright pink Because I am a Girl t-shirt.
• Write or make cards for your friends and family. Here are how-tos for some graffiti unvalentines day cards and some anatomically correct heart cards.
• Show your Valentine(s) you can change the world together – make a lasting difference with a Plan Gift of Hope for girls.
• Bake some valentines treats with the girls in your life: mom, sis or besties, and send them each home with an assorted box of treats. I love these deconstructed hearts and these amazing anatomically correct heart cupcakes.
• Have all your friends over to watch back to back horror movies…My Bloody Valentine, anyone?

Got any more great ideas about how to celebrate an Un-Valentines Day with the girls? Let us know in the comments!